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Last week I had a dozen business founders over for beer and
pizza to catch up and talk shop. It’s one of my favorite things to do,
because I think when you get a group of fellow founders in a room
together, there’s instant fraternity among them. People let their guards
down. When surrounded by peers, Founders talk about things that no one
else can appreciate or understand.
After enough vodka gimlets, the conversation gets very, very honest.
Some of the founders present had already grown and sold
companies, while others had just gotten started. Despite the wide
spectrum of business stages, the sentiments shared were universal — no
matter what industries their businesses were in, or how much they had
accomplished.
Being a Founder Is Lonely
You don’t hear this a lot publicly, but man, being a
founder is a lonely affair. By definition, you don’t have a lot of
peers. When people at your company go to lunch, they have a common theme
— they can complain about management. But you are management. You can’t go to lunch and complain to anyone.
If you’re lucky, you have a spouse that truly understands
what you do and can be someone you confide in. Few people are that
lucky. This leaves most founders with no one to talk to at work and on
one to confide in at home. Considering the incredible degree of personal
emotion invested into a startup, it’s very difficult to be isolated
when dealing with those emotions. Not an awesome feeling.
Being a Founder Is Riddled With Doubt
There are generally two types of founders — those who have
no idea if things are going to work out, and those that are lying about
it. None of us has a crystal ball. We have no idea whether or not what
we’re doing is going to work. That’s part of being a startup founder.
But to the outside world, you need to project 100 percent confidence in
your approach.
Building on a foundation riddled with doubt creates an
anxiety funhouse of emotions. There are only hints of positive
progress, like signing up a new customer or launching a product. Beyond
that, it’s just a constant stream of problems and challenges that rarely
come with a prescription for fixing them. It’s incredibly draining and
wears heavily on you.
Being a Founder Bankrupts You
On top of the emotional roller coaster comes an absolute
torrent of debt and financial stress. Founders are the last to get paid,
and by the time the company ever makes it to a point where it can start
paying the founder, it’s typically at a cost of that can almost never
be repaid.
You hear about founders cashing out for millions, an end
that clearly justifies the means to get there. But what about the period
in between? What does it mean to invest everything into a company and
have no idea if it will ever come back? What does it mean to not be able
to plan on ever having income, but knowing that you have serious
looming expenses? It’s brutal.
These aren’t problems people like to share, but they exist.
And they suck. Very few people will ever have a big payday, and even
when they do, its comes long after you’ve already lost everything you
had. People with steady paychecks would think that’s an insane path, and
they would be right.
Failure Haunts You
The overarching theme to everyone’s story was that of
pending failure. I think we tend to downplay the failure of a startup
because “it happens all the time.” But so do car accidents — they just
happen to be visibly damaging, and harder to minimize.
The problem with failure isn’t the failing itself, it’s the
shroud of anxiety that precedes it. It’s a constant reminder that you
may have made a mistake, lost money, wasted time, and ruined your
reputation. It haunts you endlessly, and it rarely stops when you have a
breakthrough moment.
It Can Feel Inescapable
When things are going well, it’s great to be the founder.
But when the ship is sinking, the captain has to go down with it. And
that fact isn’t lost on any founder.
You don’t hear about too many startups where the founder
leaves to get another job while the rest of the company sticks around to
see if they will ever make it. Well, maybe in a venture-backed startup
with lots of cash left over, but there aren’t many of those out there.
More likely, if everything goes south, the founder will be
the one left holding down the fort while everyone else flees. Employees
can get other jobs, probably with better pay. But the founder’s name is
on the office lease with three years left to go and zero revenue.
Knowing you have set ties that cannot easily be broken weighs on you
constantly.
These Conversations Need to Happen
As a group of founders, it’s always easier to talk about
popular topics like customer acquisition or business development deals.
It’s harder to talk about personal feelings, especially when they relate
to failing.
But those personal feelings in many ways are the
cornerstone of running a startup. We don’t struggle with technical
problems, we struggle with emotional ones. And sometimes it just helps
to know that we’re not the only people dealing with the anxiety of
failure and doubt.
If that means taking more opportunities to combine good
founders with a few delicious drinks, so be it. These conversations
need to happen.
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