Tuesday 29 April 2014

9 Things You Should NOT Have to Give Up to Be Happy

post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Things You Should Never Have to Give Up to Be Happy
“All happiness depends on courage and work.”
―HonorĂ© de Balzac
“This morning my best friend, Karl, confided in me that he’s having trouble playing a depressed character in our school’s end of the semester play.  ‘Call me one of the lucky ones,’ he said.  ‘But I just have no emotional tie to the role, and I know it’s hurting the quality of the character I’m trying to portray.’  The kicker, Karl is one of the kids, just like me, who constantly gets picked on by the popular jocks at our school.  We’re always being called names, but Karl never lets it bother him.  He loves who he is, and he’s happy.”
Those are the opening lines to an email I received this morning from a reader named Darin.  The remainder of Darin’s email discusses his personal struggle with finding happiness.  “I feel like I’ve given up too much in the pursuit of happiness,” he says.  “And it’s only recently that Karl has helped me come to grips with the fact that there are some things I should NOT have to give up to be happy – like giving up my time and energy worrying about the hollow words of teenage bullies.”
Darrin’s words hit home with me, not only because I once let a high school bully get the best of me, but because I know all of us, in all walks of life, have taken a wrong turn in the pursuit of happiness a time or two.  And all of us could use a bit more of Karl’s innate self-confidence and poise.
So my hope is that this post helps serve as a reminder:  Although sacrifices must be made, you should not have to give up…

1.  Your God-given truth.

There will always be people who refuse to respect you – the way you look, the way you talk, the things you say, the styles you enjoy, your beliefs, your interests, your loves, etc.  In other words, they won’t support you in being true to yourself.  The good news is, it’s up to you if you want to let them mess with your character, or if you would rather stand up for yourself and accept yourself just the way you are.  I beg you to choose the latter.
Do your best to be as good as you can be, and if that’s not enough for someone, it surely will be for someone else.  You are not here to please everyone, and you are certainly not here to please them at the expense of your own truth.  So care less about what they say and smile more about what you know is true.  Live your life and be happy with yourself, without their judgments.

2.  Responsibility for your own life.

Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”  Don’t let this be you.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you surrender power over that part of your life.
Make no mistake, in the end, the price of happiness IS responsibility.  As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.
Ultimately, your happiness depends on your self-reliance – your unshakable willingness to take responsibility for your life from this moment forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is now.  It’s about taking control of your present circumstances, finding your true self by thinking for yourself, and making a firm choice to live YOUR way.  It’s about being the hero of your life, not the victim.  (Read A New Earth.)

3.  Love that comes naturally to you.

When you love openly and honestly, you always strive to become better than you are.  When you strive to become better than you are, everything around you becomes better too.  There is never a perfect time or place for love like this either.  It happens naturally and accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, fluttering instant in time.
As Robert Frost once said, “We love the things we love for what they are.”  And this is precisely what gives life it’s magic.  Where there is true love, there is true life.
Don’t let anything stop you from loving.  Don’t let anything stop you from living.

4.  Your curiosity.

Joy comes easy to us in our youth because we haven’t become set too firmly in our ways.  Our willingness to curiously assess new situations and varying perspectives allows us to experience flashes of insight and beauty wherever we go.  Those of us who fight the draw of our comfort zones as we age, who sustain our curiosity into our later years, learn a lot more and experience far more happiness in the long run.
Curiosity, after all, is the foundation of lifelong growth.  It allows us to retain a beginner’s mind even as our wisdom expands.  In this way, an enduring curiosity permits our hearts and minds to grow younger, not older every day.
So always remain curious and teachable.  Keep an open mind and do not stop questioning and learning.  Look forward, open new doors and experience new things.  Do so because you’re curious, and because you know that today’s journey is always just beginning.

5.  Your ability to make progress.

Happiness isn’t possession.  It’s progress.  It’s seeing your efforts create outcomes.
So don’t let the fantasy of an easy life imprison you.  Short-term discomfort and failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to long-term happiness and success.  Find the strength to keep going, even when the going gets tough.  Good things don’t come to those who wait.  Good things come to those who are patient… while working hard for what they want most in life.
Remember, every day you may make progress – every step may be rewarding – and yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path.  You know you will never get to a place where there is nothing left to experience and learn.  But this, in a surprising way, only adds to the joy and glory of your journey.

6.  Meaningful dreams and goals.

If you’re bored with life – if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you haven’t set the right goals, and you aren’t doing enough with your dreams.  You’re on the wrong path to happiness.
Every morning you have the same two choices:
  1. Continue to sleep with your dreams.
  2. Wake up and do something that brings them to reality.
When a dream matters enough to a person, that person will find a way to achieve what at first seemed impossible.  You know this is true.  You know what you need to do.  Do it.  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Put in the effort and live the life you’ve imagined.  The only thing that can truly stop you, is YOU.

7.  Your patience.

Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.  Patience involves productive activity.  It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.
In other words, patience is the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on the activities and goals that bring you happiness.
Ultimately, the two hardest tests on the road to personal growth are the patience to wait for what you want and the courage not to be disappointed when it doesn’t arrive as soon as you had expected.  Patience can be bitter, but the seeds you plant now will bear sweet fruit.  And these fruits are worth waiting for.  There’s no point in hurrying through life and never tasting their sweetness.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

8.  All your present contentment.

Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be.  But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.  So appreciate where you are.
Happiness is a mindset that can only be designed into the present.  It’s not a point in the future or a moment from the past; yet sadly, this misconception hurts the masses.  So many young people seem to think all their happiness awaits them in the years ahead, while so many older people believe their best moments are behind them.
Don’t let the past, or the future, steal your present contentment.  Stop over-thinking and worrying about every other time and place, every waking minute.  Worry and rumination are the worst enemies to living happily in the present.  Do what you need to do now, and value the process of doing so.  Pay attention.  Experience it.  Life is too short for anything less.

9.  Good times shared with good friends.

Although happiness is a journey that requires effort and progress, it must also be shared.  If you attempt to do it all alone, you will not succeed as a human being.  Your heart will wither if it does not occasionally answer another heart.  Your mind will shrink away if it hears only the echoes of your own thoughts, and finds no other inspiration or relevant conversation.
Any bit of happiness unshared can scarcely be called happiness in the long run; it lacks substance and taste.  So whatever it is that makes you happy, do it and share it.  Don’t hide it and hoard it.

Your turn…

What did I miss?  What should we never have to give up in life?  Where do we sometimes take a wrong turn in the pursuit of happiness?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Tiqs

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Friday 25 April 2014

6 Easy-to-Steal Rituals of Extremely Successful People

post written by: Angel Chernoff

6 Easy-to-Steal Rituals of Extremely Successful People
We ultimately become what we repeatedly do.
Over the years Marc and I have studied the lives of numerous successful people.  We’ve read their books, watched their interviews, interviewed them ourselves, worked with them, and researched them extensively.  We’ve truly learned a lot from their stories.  But above all, we’ve learned that most of these people were not born into success.  They simply did, and continue to do, things that help them realize their full potential.  In other words, they follow a set of prolific rituals.
In today’s post we’re going to take a look at six rituals you can steal from them and immediately implement in your own life.

1.  Do the work… practice, practice, practice your craft!

Sure you can be good with a little effort.  You can be really good with a little more effort.  But you can’t be great, at anything, unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort for a set amount of time every day.  It’s as simple as that.  Scratch the surface of any successful person with incredible skills and you’ll find someone who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills.  There are no shortcuts in life.  There are no overnight successes.  Almost everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle, which states that it takes roughly 10,000 hours to completely master a complex skill, yet despite sound evidence, so few follow it… except extremely successful people of course.
Whatever you decide to do, do it well.  Do it so well that when others see you do it, they enjoy it so much that they want to come back and see you do it again… and they also want to bring their friends along so they can show them how incredible you are at doing what you do.

2.  Build trust by standing behind every one of your promises.

If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  It’s always better to tell people the truth up front.  Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts.  Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies.
Regardless of the business you’re in – selling products to consumers, or selling hours for dollars – the only question you have to ask yourself is:  “Do they trust me enough to believe what I’m promising to deliver?”  Without this trust, you have zero, zilch, nada.  If your target market knows you and they’re still not buying what you’re offering, they simply don’t trust you as much as you would hope.  Earn their trust, and the rest of the puzzle pieces will be easy to arrange.  (Read The Impact Equation.)

3.  Focus more on less.

Having too many choices interferes with decision-making.  Here in the 21st century, where information moves at the speed of light and opportunities for innovation seem endless, we have an abundant array of choices when it comes to designing our lives and careers.  But sadly, an abundance of choice often leads to indecision, confusion, and inaction.
Several business and marketing studies have shown that the more product choices a consumer is faced with, the less products they typically buy.  After all, narrowing down the best product from a pool of three choices is certainly a lot easier than narrowing down the best product from a pool of three hundred.  If the purchasing decision is tough to make, most people will just give up.
So if you’re selling a product line, keep it simple.  And if you’re trying to make a decision about something in your life, don’t waste all your time evaluating every last detail of every possible option.  Choose something you think will work and give it a shot.  If it doesn’t work out, choose something else and keep pressing forward.  Focus more on less, and do your very best.

4.  Only use quality tools.

While we’re on the topic of focusing more on less, make sure the only tools you’re using are the only ones you truly need.  There’s no point in keeping low quality tools around.  For instance, trying to cut through a thick piece of fresh lumber with an old, dull handsaw would be a pretty foolish endeavor.  You would have to work extremely hard to make the even the slightest impact.  This very same principle applies to everything in life.
Don’t let inefficiency defeat you.  If the tools in your toolbox don’t fit the requirements of the job, find someone who has the right tools and barter with them, hire them, invite them into the process of what you’re trying to achieve.  Possessing the right tools (and skills) can easily shrink a mountainous task into a miniscule molehill.  With a good idea, determination, and the right tools, almost anything is possible.

5.  Spend quality time with quality people.

You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.  And that’s why it’s not always where you are in life, but who you have by your side that matters most.  Some people drain you and others provide soul food.  So be sure to get in the company of those who feed your spirit, and give the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate your presence.  There’s no need to rush into a relationship you are unsure of, or socialize with those who hold you back.
Spend more time with nice people who are smart, driven and open-minded about personal growth and opportunity.  Use websites like meetup.com to search for local community groups of people with similar passions and goals.  These people are out there.
The bottom line is that relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, people who care about you and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the energy and hope out of you.

6.  Study, rehearse, and get super comfortable with the art of selling.

About a year ago Marc and I interviewed ten extremely successful business owners and CEOs for a side-project we were working on.  We asked them to name the one skill they felt contributed the most to their success.  Every one of them, in there own words, said: the ability to sell themselves, their ideas, and what they had to offer.
Keep in mind “selling” in its truest sense isn’t an act of manipulating, pressuring, or being deceitful.  Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or point of view.  Selling is convincing other people to work directly with YOU.  Selling is overcoming concerns and roadblocks, and calming other people’s unwarranted fears.  Selling is one of the principal foundations of both business and personal success.  It’s about knowing how to negotiate, how to deal with a  “no” when you receive one, how to maintain confidence and self-esteem in the face of rejection, and how to communicate openly, honestly, and effectively with a wide range of people so that you can build long-term relationships that garner long-term trust.
When you truly believe in your idea, or your business, or yourself, then you don’t need to have an enormous ego or an overly extroverted personality.  You don’t need to “sell” in the traditional sense.  You just need to communicate your point of view clearly, cordially, and confidently.

The floor is yours…

So there you have it, six rituals we’ve seen repeated over and over in the lives of some of the most successful people we’ve studied and interacted with over the years.
And today we challenge you to implement one new positive ritual in your own life.  It’s all about breaking up your overarching goals into tiny, repeatable, daily actions.  So let’s take the idea of mastering a particular complex skill, for instance.  Obviously this can’t be accomplished in a day.  It’s about choosing a set time every day to practice diligently, and perhaps even tying your practice time to a recurring trigger, like:  Every time you walk into your office you will immediately spend 30 minutes doing XYZ.
So please leave a comment below and let us know about one new, positive ritual you want to implement in your life, AND one small step you’re going to take TODAY to get started.
Photo by: Charlie Wollborg


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40 Little Ways to Find Happiness in What You Already Have

post written by: Marc Chernoff


40 Little Ways to Find Happiness in What You Already Have
Happiness is an attitude we act upon.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happier and stronger.  The amount of work is the same.
“My body sometimes feels sore, but it works.  I don’t sleep well most nights, but I do wake up to experience another day.  My wallet is not full, but my stomach is.  I don’t have all the things I’ve ever wanted, but I do have everything I need.  I’m thankful, because although my life is by no means perfect, it is MY life and I choose to be thankful in it, as I continue to do the best I can.”
That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 7/20/1977.  It’s one of a few entries I photocopied a decade ago, and still have hanging on my bulletin board today.  And it continues to remind me that happiness is valuing what you have, and enjoying the people, places, objects and events in your life for what they are.  It’s not about making massive breakthroughs every minute… sometimes it’s simply about being, appreciating, and making small tweaks.  And you can almost always enjoy the things you have and make the best of the events happening around you if you decide firmly that you will.
No, life isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty darn good.  You just have to…
  1. Embrace your humanness. – Do not endlessly search of sanctity, sacredness, and purity – these things are found after this life, not in it.  But in this life you can search to be human – to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to dance, to get lost, to be found, to love and to lust… to be so unapologetically and beautifully human in every imaginable way.
  2. Realize your greatness. – Contrary to what others may say, you do not need to rise to the top, or be the cream of the crop, before you can feel great about yourself.  For you are not a failure because you’re not perfect, got rejected or laid off, struggle to make ends meet, or have a family with issues.  You are great because, despite your circumstances, you keep loving, you keep getting back up after every fall, and, above all, the little steps you keep taking, you take with grace.
  3. Exercise your inner power. – This life is yours, and yours alone.  Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.  Take the power to love what you want in life and love it genuinely.  Take the power to walk in nature and be a part of it.  Take the power to control your own life.  No one else can do it for you.  Take the power to make your life happy.
  4. Choose differently. – A big part of your life is a result of the little choices you make every day.  If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start tweaking things and making better choices, right now, right where you are.
  5. Accept yourself just the way you are. – Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t.  Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are, and aren’t, that you will truly find happiness and success.
  6. Stop looking for external validation. – You don’t have control over what others think about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize their opinions.  Leave them to their own judgments.  Don’t feel threatened and don’t conform just to please them.  Let others love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be.
  7. Embrace your quirks, and ignore those who don’t. – Don’t try to be normal; there’s no such thing.  Life is all about spending it in your own way.  Always be yourself and walk comfortably in your own shoes.  Anyone who tells you you’re doing it wrong… is wrong.
  8. Mind your own business. – Who others think you are is their business.  Who you know yourself to be is your business.  Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.  
  9. Choose your own thoughts. – The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.  And oftentimes this means choosing your own thoughts over the opinions of others.
  10. Say what you need to say today. – Speak your truth.  There is no greater sadness than holding on to the words you never had the courage to speak.
  11. Dedicate time every day to meaningful activities. – What you do every day matters, but WHY you do what you do matters more.  Continue to work hard at what you love no matter what the odds are.  And if you only have fifteen minutes to spare, no problem – make those fifteen minutes meaningful.
  12. Enjoy the process of learning and growing as you go. – You have to acknowledge your troubles but gather strength from them, and laugh at your mistakes but learn from them.  Getting second chances in life is about giving yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past failures.  It’s about learning as you go and positively adjusting your attitude and efforts toward future possibilities.
  13. Look for and appreciate the lessons. – Rather than just regretting something, question specifically how it has helped you grow.  Has your past equipped you to be determined, self-reliant, perceptive, tough, aware, compassionate, etc.?  Focus on what you have gained rather than lost from adverse past experiences.
  14. Celebrate how much stronger you are now. – You can’t possibly know you are strong if you’ve only ever had wonderful things happen to you.
  15. Stop resisting what is. – Flow with reality, not against it.  And don’t be trying 24/7 to fix everything.  Some things don’t need fixing… they just need acceptance.  What you resist only stays with you longer.  When you fight something, you only make it stronger.
  16. Let the uncontrollable GO. – Never force anything.  Give it your best shot, and then let it be.  If it’s meant to be, it will be.  Don’t hold yourself down with things you can’t control.
  17. Let things BE. – Things will happen that you will not always understand, but maybe you’re not supposed to understand everything.  Maybe you’re just supposed to have faith, accept it and let it happen.
  18. Do what you can right now. – It’s not as much about acquiring new things as it is about using what you already have.  Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from what you can do.  No more excuses, no more wasting precious time.  This moment is as good a time as any to begin doing what matters most.  Start exactly where you are right now.  Do what you can with what you have right now.  Stop over-thinking and start DOING.
  19. Take it just one easy step at a time. – Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.  Tiptoe if you must, but take the step.
  20. Measure your progress, no matter how small. – You may not be where you want to be yet, but look how far you’ve come.  Be thankful that you’re not where you used to be.  If you have no other testimony right now, you have this one: “I’m still here trying.”
  21. Exercise your faith. – Seriously, take pride in how far you have come and have faith where you can go tomorrow.  Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what can’t be seen.
  22. Appreciate each day for what it’s worth. – If what you did today didn’t turn out as you hoped, tomorrow is a new opportunity to do it differently, or to do nothing at all.  What’s important is to realize that you have a choice.  So no matter how tough the day was, always try to end it with a positive thought, knowing that a new beginning starts in the morning.
  23. Leave the negative past alone. – You might not be proud of all the things you’ve done in the past, but that’s OK.  The past is not today.  (Read Loving What Is.)
  24. Let hate GO. – Holding hatred is poisonous.  It eats you from inside out.  We naively think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us, but hatred is a curved blade.  And the only harm we do, we do to ourselves.
  25. Forgive. – Sometimes we don’t forgive people because they deserve it.  We forgive them because they need it, because we need it, and because we cannot let go and move forward without it.
  26. Give your love willingly. – What you give to another person is really what you give to yourself.  When you treat others with love, you learn that you’re lovable too.  So love like there’s no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love some more.
  27. Spend more time around those special people who truly care. – You grow to be like the people you spend most of your time with.  So surround yourself with only those who are going to lift you higher.
  28. Set a great example. – How would your life be different if you walked away from gossip and verbal insults?  Let today be the day you speak only of the good you know about other people and encourage others to do the same.
  29. Do just a little bit of good today. – The fact that you can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, is proof that YOU can make a big difference.
  30. Give what you can. – Remember, you must give to get.  But it’s not an eye for an eye situation.  Don’t wait to give.  You sometimes must give twice as much without expectations to eventually get something in return.  The more you give, the more you eventually get.  It’s an investment in generosity, helping, and faith, which attracts good things back to you in the long run.
  31. Do something nice for yourself today. – The trick is to enjoy your life today.  Don’t wish it away by waiting for better days ahead.
  32. Fill your time and mind with positivity. – Do what you can, and smile.  Be so busy loving your life and the people in it that you have no time left for hate, regret or unnecessary stress.
  33. Distance yourself from negativity. – Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to the people and things that hurt you.  Be wise enough to walk away from the negativity around you.
  34. Disregard the daily drama. – You can’t let one bad moment spoil a bunch of good ones.  Don’t let the silly little dramas of each day get you down.
  35. Smile, even when it feels like things are falling apart. – Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy; sometimes it simply means you’re strong.  And smiling will help you feel better.
  36. Be grateful. – Gratitude is simply the awareness of what’s right.  Count the blessings in your life, and start with the breath you’re taking right now.  (Read The Happiness Project.)
  37. Value your physical body and present beauty. – Take a picture of your face and remember that in ten years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous you were.  Be amazed now.
  38. Be present. – Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you forget to live.
  39. Pay attention to the little things. – …because when you really miss “the good ol’ days,” you miss the little things the most, like just laughing with someone special.
  40. Schedule in some dedicated down time. – Find the time… the time to read, to smell the flowers, to take a walk in the wilderness, to share a laugh, to learn a fun craft, to try a new recipe, to explore somewhere new, to really be with someone you love, to paint your dreams, or even to just do nothing and relax for a while.

The floor is yours…

What would you add to this post?  What’s something you do on a regular basis that has helped you find more happiness in life?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Porsche Brosseau

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Friday 18 April 2014

25 Things You Should Never Stop Doing for Yourself

post written by: Marc Chernoff

25 Things You Should Never Stop Doing for Yourself
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life,
not what’s best for everyone else.
When I was 16 years old and too young to fully grasp the sensitivity of the situation, I interviewed my grandmother’s friend, JoAnn, who was terminally ill, for a school project entitled “The Speed of Life.”  About five minutes into the interview I began questioning JoAnn about her illness and her life situation.
“So,” I tried to delicately ask, “What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?”
“Well,” she replied, “What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you are not?”
Whoa!  In an instant, JoAnn’s response opened my young eyes to one of life’s greatest truths:  Today is the oldest each of us has ever been and the youngest we will ever be again.
In other words, life is short and the clock is ticking.  It’s kind of scary, but it’s true.  If there was ever a perfect day to stand strong beside your values, your ambitions, and what’s best for you, that day is today.
So today I challenge you to…
  1. Never stop stretching and improving yourself. – Always dream and shoot higher than you think is possible.  Do not bother trying to be better than your peers or predecessors.  Try to be better than you ever knew YOU could be.
  2. Never stop listening to your own inner voice. – The unhappiest folks are those who care the most about what everyone else thinks – those who let everyone else drown out their own inner voice.  So stand strong beside yourself.  There’s great freedom in leaving others to their opinions.
  3. Never stop walking comfortably in your own shoes. – If you don’t follow the path others want you to follow they might become irritated.  Don’t worry about it.  Let them be.  It’s their problem, not yours.  So many people seem to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but have no clue how to lead their own.  So focus on your inner callings and keep paving your own path.  Remember that it is more useful to be aware of a single strength or weakness in yourself than to be aware of a thousand strengths and weaknesses in others.
  4. Never stop working through your fears. – Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.  So don’t let fear decide your future.  In the end, you can be comfortable or courageous, but not both at once.
  5. Never stop being a little unrealistic. – To be successful, you have to be a little unrealistic.  You have to believe that something totally different than what has happened for an eternity CAN happen starting now.  Think about it.  Being realistic doesn’t change anything – being unrealistic does.  Doesn’t it seem a bit unrealistic to be able to use a mobile phone to instantly research any topic imaginable, watch movies, get perfect driving directions to anywhere you want to go, and see your friends face-to-face no matter where in the world you are?  Fortunately a small group of computer scientists didn’t think so.
  6. Never stop doing what needs to be done. – You were born to be a success.  Although to be successful, you must plan to be, prepare to be, expect to be, and work to be, every day.  (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
  7. Never stop embracing your struggles. – After each struggle you once faced in the past was overcome, you grew stronger and more able to meet the ones you face today.  Likewise, the struggles you face today are preparing you for the challenges of tomorrow.  As this process of growth takes place, remember that there are no mistakes.  The events that arise as you journey forward, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary steps in order to learn what you need to know to reach the places you’ve chosen to go.
  8. Never stop being willing to make mistakes. – Making mistakes is far more productive than never moving.  You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy avoiding or denying them.  And no matter how bad of a mistake you make, there comes a time when you have to stop thinking about it and move on.  No regrets in life – just lessons that show you the way forward.
  9. Never stop getting back up. – The strongest and most accomplished people are not those who always win, but those who refuse to give up even after they lose.  You might think you’re not good enough, but you’ll surprise yourself if you keep trying.  What defines us is how well we rise after falling.  At the end of the day, to win, all you have to do is get up one more time than you fall down.
  10. Never stop making the best of it. – When you lose something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so you can better travel the path that was meant for you.
  11. Never stop ignoring the naysayers. – When someone undermines your dreams, predicts your doom, or criticizes you in any way, remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.
  12. Never stop taking small steps forward. – The moment you give up is the moment you let someone else win.  So keep going.  You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward. 
  13. Never stop giving yourself a chance to soar to new heights. – You’ll never be able to fly if you hold on to what holds you back.  So respect yourself enough to walk away from what no longer grows you.
  14. Never stop smiling. – When you lose your smile, you lose your footing.  So be determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation you may find yourself.  For you will eventually learn that the greater part of your happiness or unhappiness is determined not by your specific circumstances, but by your attitude and outlook.
  15. Never stop thinking positive. – Thoughts are power.  They create and destroy.  What is possible is everything.  What you do is up to you.  Look around and you will see that almost your entire life has been born out of your thoughts.  Know this, and plant your seeds accordingly.  You can change your mind at any moment.  So go ahead.  Change it right now.
  16. Never stop laughing at yourself and your life situations. – All self-misery has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in taking life too seriously.  If you take everything too seriously, especially yourself, you’ll wind up fearing every new step you take.  Loosen up and laugh it off if you can – especially when things don’t go as planned.  People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life.  You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself and your circumstances.
  17. Never stop appreciating the life you’re living right now. – Stop rushing.  Breathe.  Be where you are.  You’re where you’re supposed to be at this very moment.  Every experience and step is necessary.  (Read The Power of Now.)
  18. Never stop indulging in life’s little daily joys. – Notice what you love, not what you hate.  Smile more.  Happiness is enjoying the small things in life, all while chasing after the big ones.
  19. Never stop spreading your kindness. – How you make others feel about themselves, says a whole lot about you.  So treat people right.  Kindness IS a gift you can afford to give.
  20. Never stop giving what you can. – Exercise your talents to give back.  Do so whenever you can, because you can.  And when you get tired, remember all those people who can’t do what you can do.  Think about what they would be willing to give to have the abilities you have right now – a simple gift you take for granted.  Then strive harder just for them.  And know that there are others out there with different gifts who are doing the same for you.
  21. Never stop giving your important relationships a fair chance. – It’s impossible to find someone who will never hurt you, so go for ones worth the pain.  And remember, without a little pain, joy wouldn’t feel so good.
  22. Never stop doing little things for your own happiness. – Remember, happiness comes from your own choices and actions.  Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.
  23. Never stop opening your mind to new perspectives. – Don’t hate what you don’t understand.  Give things a fair chance.  Your mind is like a parachute; it doesn’t work unless it’s open.
  24. Never stop evolving. – Just because you liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean you’re required to always like it.  You can change your mind.  You don’t have to pretend to like something as an act of loyalty to who you are as a person, based on who you once were.  To be sincerely loyal to yourself is to allow yourself the freedom to change.  The only thing you ever are for sure is unsure, and this means you’re growing, and not stagnant or imprisoned by old ways of thinking.
  25. Never stop writing your own story, your own way. – When writing the story of your life, never, ever let someone else hold the pen.  Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and ambitions.  Because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life.  Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point.

The floor is yours…

What would you add to the list?  What’s one thing you will never stop doing for yourself?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: Stefano Corso

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20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You

post written by: Marc Chernoff

20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You
Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
This past Sunday, while we were enjoying an afternoon barbeque at our friend Sara’s house, her 16-year-old foster child, Cody, received a visit from his biological mother – a woman who has been in and out of prison and rehab her whole life. Although Sara was a bit reluctant about it, she let them talk in the family room alone, and we eavesdropped from the kitchen just to make sure everything was okay.
Cody’s mother was extremely rough around the edges and almost immediately started bringing up hurtful memories from the past, and then told him, “I wish I could go back in time and raise you again, to change who you are and give you a better upbringing.”  Just as Sara was about to walk into the room to interject, Cody calmly replied, “I’m perfectly fine, thank you.  I’m proud of who I am.  Maybe you should go farther back in time and change who you are instead.”  And then he walked her to the front door and politely asked her to leave.
Cody’s response impressed me on so many levels.  It takes a lot of courage, especially at 16 years of age, with a rough upbringing, to tactfully stand up for yourself.  And he handled himself with grace.
So whenever you’re dealing with a difficult or hostile person, remember how Cody handled himself.  Take a stand.  This is your life.  You may not be able to control all the things people do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.  You can decide not to let their actions and opinions invade your heart and mind.  And above all, you can decide whom to walk beside into tomorrow, and whom to leave behind today.
It’s time to…
  1. Stop letting people drag you into needless arguments. – Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you.  And don’t define your intelligence or self-worth by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This needless nonsense is not worth my time!”
  2. Stop letting people drown you with their negativity. – Positivity is a choice.  Choose wisely.  Be smart enough to walk away from the negativity around you… it is never worth your while, ever.
  3. Stop letting people make you feel ashamed of your scars. – Scars remind us that our past is real, and that we have grown beyond it.  Every scar has a story.  Don’t be afraid to tell it and own it.
  4. Stop listening to those who berate you for your honest mistakes. – To grow strong and wise, you must have the courage to make mistakes.  Allow yourself to be a beginner.  No one starts off being excellent.
  5. Stop letting others blind you from YOUR truth. – Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  (Read A New Earth.)
  6. Stop letting people bully you. – Bullying is not OK.  Period.  There is no freedom on Earth that gives someone the right to assault who you are as a person.  Sadly, some people just won’t be happy until they’ve pushed your ego to the ground and stomped on it.  What you have to do is have the nerve to stand your ground.  Don’t give them any leeway.  Nobody has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.
  7. Stop letting friends be untrue to you. – What is a true friend?  Someone who loves you just the way you are, but still inspires you to be a better person.  BE a true friend to others, and keep only true friends close to you.
  8. Stop letting the same people lie to you over and over again. – If someone fools you once, shame on them.  If someone fools you twice, shame on you.  If you catch someone lying to you, speak up.  Some people will lie to you repeatedly in a vicious effort to get you to repeat their lies over and over until they effectively become true.  Don’t partake in their nonsense.  Don’t let their lies be your reality.
  9. Stop letting people take advantage of you. – Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them.  This is NOT right!  Realize this.  You deserve better.  You deserve to be with people who make you smile – friends who don’t take you for granted – friends who won’t leave you hanging.
  10. Stop letting people treat you like a back-up plan. – Don’t settle to simply be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or sometime.  If they can’t reliably be there for you when you need them most, they’re not worth your time.
  11. Stop letting the wrong people get between you and the right ones. – Don’t let the people who refuse to love you keep you from the people who do love you.  Spend time with those who make your world a little brighter simply by being in it.  Someday you will either regret not doing so, or you will say, “I’m glad I did.”
  12. Stop letting hateful people motivate you to hate them back. – As Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”  Regardless of how despicable another has acted, never let hate build in your heart.  Fighting hatred with hatred only hurts you more.  When you decide to hate someone you automatically begin digging two graves: one for your enemy and one for yourself.  (Read The Four Agreements.)
  13. Stop letting people leave grudges in your mind. – Remember, the first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to move forward is the happiest.  Always.
  14. Stop letting people use your past to poison your present. – Life is too short to tirelessly struggle with old news and those who refuse to let it go.  Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior.  Keep moving forward.  Practice acceptance and forgiveness.  Letting go of the past is your first step to happiness.
  15. Stop letting people convince you that change is a bad thing. – The things we can’t change often end up changing us.  This change happens for a reason.  Roll with it.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
  16. Stop letting people steer you away from meaningful pursuits. – If you can smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  So don’t let other people get between you and the ideas and activities that truly move you.
  17. Stop letting people dump on your dreams. – Life will test you to see how serious you are about pursuing a particular path.  And sooner or later you may face negative feedback from others.  When this happens, remember not to let anyone crush your spirit.  If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.
  18. Stop letting naysayers talk you out of putting in the extra effort. – Hard times often lead to greatness.  Keep the faith.  It will be worth it in the end.  The beginnings to great things are always the hardest.
  19. Stop letting people convince you of their quick-fix schemes. – Anything worth achieving takes time and dedicated effort.  Period.  Honestly, I used to believe that making wishes and saying prayers changed things, but now I know that wishes and prayers change us, and WE change things. 
  20. Stop letting people tell you that you need more to be happy. – Thankfulness is the start of happiness.  Be sure to appreciate what you’ve got.  Be thankful for the little things in life that mean a lot.

The floor is yours…

What would you add to the list?  What’s one thing you will NOT let others do to you?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: Neil Moralee

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Thursday 10 April 2014

4 Good Reminders When You’ve Had a Bad Day

post written by: Angel Chernoff

  4 Good Reminders When You’ve Had a Bad Day
I have learned that life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and that life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate an unwavering commitment to push forward even when times are tough.
Sometimes I catch myself staring at the people around me – studying their gestures and expressions.  I wonder, “What’s their story?  What are they searching for?  What makes their heart beat with happiness, with sorrow, with fear, and with longing?”  And then I ask myself, “What thoughts might Marc and I post on this blog to inspire them, and to remind them that, even on the toughest days, our hearts all beat for these same things?”

 Because when life gets stressful, we often forget the things we should remember, and remember the things we should forget.  So here are some good reminders for those bad days when you need a little extra motivation:

1.  YOU are okay.  You are just a little stronger now.

Having a bad day?  It’s okay.  YOU are okay.  But now you’re a little stronger than you were yesterday.
Put your hand on your heart.  Feel that?  That’s called ‘a purpose.  You’re here today for a reason.  Don’t give up and don’t give in.  And above all, don’t let one or two dark clouds cover the entire sky.  The sun is always shining on some part of your life.  Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
Keep in mind that we’ve all made mistakes.  We’ve all made absolute fools of ourselves.  We’ve let people take advantage of us, and we’ve accepted way less than we deserve.  And sometimes, we too have given others way less than they deserve.  Sometimes we let our priorities and our boundaries get ravished by the chaos of the day.  But if you think about it, we’ve learned a lot from our bad choices, and even though there are some things we can never recover, and people who will never be sorry, we now know better for next time.  We now have more power to shape our future.

2.  You are far more capable than you think.

You have to remember that you are incredibly capable of handling great challenges.  But when times are good, and everything is comfortably in order, it can be easy to become complacent and forget how skillful and resourceful you are capable of being.  Unanticipated troubles are necessary evils that push you forward; because the troubles will eventually end, but the lessons and growth you gain from them will last a lifetime.
Truth be told, there are two types of pain in life: pain that hurts you, and pain that grows you.  But when you learn from a difficult experience, they are one and the same.  Strength doesn’t come from what you can do.  It comes from overcoming the things you could not do before.  Tough situations build strong, successful people.  So no matter how much it hurts now, you have to hold your head up, grit your teeth, and take another step.  Don’t waste time complaining.  In the end, persistence and determination speak loud enough.  Focus diligently through your struggles.  Work hard in silence, and let your success be your noise.  (Read As a Man Thinketh.)

3.  The struggle is the path, and it leads to better days.

Will the road ahead always be easy?  Not at all.  But will it be worth your while?  Absolutely.  Because the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path, and it leads to better days.  When the day is really dark, it can be hard to see the light, but you have to try.  True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.  There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them.  You can’t force things to happen.  You will only drive yourself crazy trying.  At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.
In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience.  It’s a long-term journey.  You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way.  Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds – struggles and all.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.

4.  Taking the next step is always worth it.

And that’s why the best thing you can do is to keep going.  Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.  Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.  Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.  And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.  When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right.  Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.
Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher.  Find the strength to laugh every day.  Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.  Find it in your heart to make others smile too.  Don’t stress over things you can’t change.  Live simply.  Love generously.  Speak truthfully.  Work diligently.  And even if you fall short, keep going.  Keep growing.
Awake every morning and do your best to follow this simple daily TO-DO list: Think positively.  Eat healthy.  Exercise today.  Worry less.  Work hard.  Laugh often.  Sleep well.  And then rewind and repeat…

The floor is yours…

If you’re having a bad day, or if you’re struggling in any way at all, know that you are not alone.  We are all in this together.  Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and keep our lives on track.
In fact whenever life gets tough, and things go wrong, Marc and I make it a point to focus on what’s right – the positives.  So today we challenge you to do the same.  Please leave a comment below and let us know…
What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when you’re struggling or having a bad day?
Photo by: Chad Cooper

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Monday 7 April 2014

9 Things to Stop Doing During Hard Times

post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Things to Stop Doing During Hard Times
The most beautiful smiles are often the ones
that once struggled through the tears.
One thing I can say for sure: September 2008 through December 2009 was an extremely hard time for us.  In that seemingly short 15-month timespan, Angel lost her breadwinning job (which drastically affected our livelihood), we lost a mutual close friend to cardiac arrest, and then, just as we were starting to get back on our feet, Angel’s brother passed away unexpectedly as well.
As you can imagine, each of these losses felt horrific.  And when stacked back to back to back, it was sometimes difficult just to get out of bed in the morning – to make even the slightest bit of progress on anything at all.  But as days turned into weeks, months and years, we pressed forward, stronger and with a greater understanding and respect for life.
Now, sitting here several years later, with many other hardships behind us as well, I can honestly say that Angel and I have learned how to cope well with hard times.  It’s never easy, but there are positive and negative ways of dealing with difficult life situations.  And that’s what this post is all about.
Regardless of what you’re struggling with – a major tragedy or a minor personal battle – it’s time to STOP…

1.  Hiding from the truth.

Most people, at the first sign of distress, would rather deny the hard truth than face it.  But the truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored.  When you try to ignore it, you will find yourself living a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Face the facts.  You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.
The truth will set you free, but first it may tick you off for a while, and that’s OK.  It’s always better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.  Because the truth hurts only once and then gradually fades, but a lie hurts just as bad every single time you remember you’re living it.

2.  Gripping tight to the fantasy of a pain-free life.

Pain is a part of life, and life’s pains have many shapes and sizes.
There’s the cold feet pain of moving on ‒ graduating, taking the next step, walking away from the familiar and into the unknown.  There’s the sharp growing pains of trial and error, of failing as you learn the best way forward.  There’s the immense, dizzying pain of life slapping you in the face when everything you thought you knew wasn’t true, or everything you had planned for falls through.
There are the more ambiguous aches and pains of success, when you actually get what you had hoped for, but then realize that it’s not quite what you had envisioned.  And then, from time to time, there are the warm, tingling pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of sweet perfection, a priceless instant of achievement or happiness which you know cannot possibly last, and yet will remain with you forever.
Even though so many folks forget, pain is actually a good thing.  It means you’re breathing, and trying, and interacting with the endless possibilities in this world.  Pain is for the living only; it’s worth fully accepting and dealing with while you still have a chance.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)

3.  Revisiting the past over and over in your mind.

Sadly, people all over the world are continuously telling their one dramatic story and how their entire life has turned into getting over this one event from the past.  Now, every day of their lives are more about something that no longer exists, rather than the real life experiences waiting for them in the present.
We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.  You become a prisoner when you cling to what no longer exists.  If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.  It may be hard, but you have to let go.  Cling no more!  Realize that the past is like a foreign country – they do things differently there.  And “they” have nothing to do with YOU RIGHT NOW.

4.  Holding on to who you were before the storm.

Hard times are like strong storms that blow against you.  And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you might otherwise go.  They also tear away from you all but the essential parts of your ego that cannot be torn, so that afterward you see yourself as you really are, and not merely as you might like to be.
Ultimately, you realize you are here to endure these storms, to sacrifice your time and risk your heart.  You are here to be bruised by life.  And when it happens that you are hurt, or betrayed, or rejected, let yourself sit quietly with your eyes closed and remember all the good times you had, and all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned.  Tell yourself how amazing it was to live, and then open your eyes and live some more.
Because to never struggle would be to never grow.  You must let go of who you were so you can become who you are.  It is within the depths of the strongest and darkest storms that you discover within you an inextinguishable light, and it is this light that illuminates the right path forward.

5.  “Worrying” or “thinking” a situation into something worse than it is.

What worries you masters you.  Needless worry and negative thinking will never lead to positive change.  However, a positive attitude and a little action can change everything.  So if you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice.
No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.  Negative thinking creates negative results.  Positive thinking creates positive results.  Period.  The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today.  Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

6.  Acting like it’s not OK to smile.

Sometimes a little silliness is all you need to get a better perspective of life’s greatest challenges.  Silliness is the carefree, sometimes crazy, and often misunderstood stepsister of happiness.  May you be a friend to both, and smile your way through life’s twists and turns.
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.  You’ll see why.

7.  Giving in and giving up as soon as the going gets tough.

All things are difficult before they are easy, and the roughest roads often lead to the top.  There are simply no easy roads to anywhere worth going.  Which is why you must endure the discomfort.  Do what is right for your future, not what is easy right now.
You’ll learn, as you grow older, that many of life’s supposed rules are made to be broken.  Even when times are tough, be bold enough to live on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it.  Go against the grain, refuse to conform when it doesn’t feel right, take the road less traveled instead of the well-worn path.  Laugh in the face of adversity as best as you can, and leap before you look fear too deeply in the eyes.  Dance as though everyone is watching, without giving a care in the world to what they think of you.  March to the beat of your own drummer.  And stubbornly refuse to give up and give in.

8.  Wanting to have all the answers.

Accept the feeling of not knowing exactly where you are going, and train yourself to love and appreciate this sensation of freedom.  Because it is only when you are suspended in the air, with no destination in sight, that you force your wings to open fully so you can fly.  And as you soar around you still may not know where you’re traveling to.  But that’s not what’s important.
What’s important is the opening of your wings.  You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as your wings are spread, the winds will carry you forward.  (Read A New Earth.)

9.  Obsessing yourself with negative news.

For every prominent newscaster who howls about how bleak and unjust life is, there are thousands of other people behind the scenes working tirelessly to make a positive difference in the world.  For every disheartening crisis that is breathlessly reported, there are thousands of real, meaningful success stories that don’t get the attention they deserve, but that have an enormous positive ripple effect on humanity.
Try not to obsess yourself with negative news, especially when you’re in the midst of hard times.  When you’re faced with negative news, learn from it and use this knowledge to work your way eagerly toward a brighter tomorrow.  Today is a choice.  Today, choose grace over impatience, laughter over worry, and beauty over negativity.  Life does get better and better when you choose to make it so.

The floor is yours…

What would you add to the list?  What do you try NOT to do when times are hard and stressful?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: Jeffery

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18 Chances You Will Not Regret Taking in Life

post written by: Marc Chernoff

18 Chances You Will Not Regret Taking in Life
In life you get just about as many chances as you’re willing to take.
Almost two decades ago, when I told my grandmother I was worried about taking a chance and regretting my choice, she hugged me and said, “Trust me, honey, that’s not what you’re going to regret when you’re my age.  If anything, you will likely kick yourself a little for not taking more chances on the infinite number of opportunities you have today.”
And the older I get, the more I realize how right my grandmother was.  Life is about trusting yourself and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, learning from experience, appreciating the memories, and realizing that every step is worth your while…  But you’ve got to be willing to take each step.  You’ve got to give yourself a fair chance.
So here are some chances I would take if I were you – chances I have taken that I know you will not regret:
  1. Trusting your intuition on new opportunities. – Life is too short to wait.  Every new day is another chance to change your life.  Every great accomplishment starts with the decision to try.  Trust that little voice inside your head that says, “What if…” and then GO DO IT.  Give yourself a fair chance.  You would be surprised how often “what if” works.  And no, you’re not obligated to win every time.  You’re obligated to keep trying – to do the best you can do every day – to improve upon what you learned yesterday.
  2. Believing in your own abilities. – You have everything you need within you to become the best possible version of yourself.  Believe that you CAN.  Believe that you’re capable of pushing harder and farther than you have before.  Believe that you’re young enough, old enough, smart enough and strong enough to achieve your goals.  Don’t let false beliefs stop you from moving beyond yourself.  And certainly don’t get sidetracked by other people who are not on track.
  3. Making moves in the face of fear. – It’s often difficult to grow into your greatest self, but it’s a tragedy to let the lie of fear stop you.  So realize right now that fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your head.  Be courageous.  Go after your goals.  Never let your fear steer your present or decide your future.  And remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is far more important than fear.  (Read Start: Punch Fear in the Face.)
  4. Taking a step forward today. – You will be dead one day.  Sorry to be so dramatic, but it’s true.  The question is: Are you choosing to live right now?  Take a moment and think about.  Life doesn’t start when “this, that, or the other thing” is resolved.  This IS your time.  Life is now.  Do something with it.  Don’t wait it away.
  5. Making your goals a priority. – If you want to live a happy, fulfilling life, tie yourself to meaningful goals, not just to people and things.  Never put off or give up on something that’s important to you… not because you still have tomorrow to start or try again, but because you may not have tomorrow at all.  Life is shorter than it sometimes seems.  Make today count.  Take just one small step a day.  Approach the start of every day with one little goal and end the day with one little word.  DONE!
  6. Working hard even when it hurts. – Remember, personal growth in all walks of life is a slow, steady process.  It can’t be rushed.  You need to work on it gradually every day.  There is ample time for you to be who you want to be in life.  Don’t settle for less than what you think you deserve, or less than you know you can be.  Despite the struggles you’ll inevitably face along the way, never give up on yourself.  You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and twice as capable as you have ever imagined.  Keep going.
  7. Upholding your standards. – What’s dreadful is to pretend that second-rate is first-rate.  To pretend that you don’t need love and respect when you do.  To lie to yourself and say everything is OK, when it isn’t.  Or to convince yourself that you like your work when you know darn well you’re capable of much better.  Bottom line: Love yourself enough to never lower your standards for the wrong reasons.
  8. Bouncing back after rejection or failure. – When you are rejected from something good, it often means you’re being redirected to something better.  Be patient.  Be positive.  And remember, no matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
  9. Owning your situation. – Even when the going gets tough, own it!  If you’re struggling at a job you don’t love, look at it this way: you’re choosing to make a living to pay your mortgage, support your family, and fuel your dreams.  Don’t resist it; own it – that’s where your power is.  If you’re in a relationship that’s causing you pain, you’re choosing to be in it.  Maybe staying will lead to essential growth or a breakthrough or a deeper understanding of love.  Or not.  But you’re choosing to be in or out, right now.  Whichever you choose, own it – that’s where your power is.
  10. Smiling anyway. – Don’t let one bad moment ruin your day.  Think of it as a bad minute, not a bad day, and you’ll be OK.  Stress begins when your worry list is longer than your gratitude list.  Happiness begins when your gratitude list is longer than your worry list.  So find something to be thankful for today.  Be sure to appreciate what you’ve got.  Be thankful for the little things in life that mean a lot.
  11. Being sincerely kind to everyone. – Kindness in words creates confidence and motivation.  Kindness in thinking creates positivity and possibility.  Kindness in giving creates strength and love.  Through kindness you have the ability to make a profound difference in every life you touch, including your own.  When you guide someone who is lost and confused, when you hold someone who is sad and grieving, when you hug someone who has lost all their hope, you too will feel yourself healing and growing stronger.  So do your little bit of good right where you are, because it’s these little bits of good put together that change the world.
  12. Helping others create a better life for themselves. – Who you affect is more powerful than who you are at any given moment.  Because nothing is as enduring as a great memory.  In the end, its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, and feelings that last.  Stone cracks.  Wood rots.  Skin dies.  But great thoughts, beautiful experiences, and inspiring legends… they live forever.  If you can change the way people think and feel, the way they see themselves, and the way they interpret the world, it means you can change the way they live their lives, and how they affect others.  That is, by far, the longest lasting thing you can create.
  13. Living with integrity and honor. – Integrity is choosing your actions based on moral values rather than personal gain.  It’s about living honorably.  It’s about doing the right thing, no matter what, even when nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.  At the end of the day, your reputation is what other people know about you.  Your honor is what you know about yourself.
  14. Being weird in your own way. – We are all weird.  Life is weird.  And when we find weirdness in the world that makes us want to work hard, we call it passion.  And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we call it love.  And if we zoom the lens way out, so we can see all the weird people of the world doing their thing, we realize being weird isn’t that weird after all.  It’s human nature.
  15. Opening yourself to love. – Your greatest task isn’t to find love, but to discover and eliminate all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.  Even when you’re afraid, keep trusting – keep your heart and mind wide open.  Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of love.  As you find the good that exists in others and situations, you discover the love that exists within you.
  16. Closing the door on old news. – Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back.  Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present.  Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place.  Let it GO!  You must accept the end of something in order to begin to build something new.  So close some old doors today.  Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere worth your while.  (Read Loving What Is.)
  17. Taking time to simply BE where you are. – You will always be missing out on something.  You simply can’t have it all.  Thus, it will always seem like something wonderful might be happening elsewhere.  And that’s OK.  Let it go, and realize you have everything right now.  The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are at this moment.  You have to accept that some things will never be yours, and learn to value the things that are only yours.
  18. Putting yourself out there and truly LIVING. – To laugh often and love genuinely.  To respect others and judge less.  To win the affection and sincere smiles of children.  To earn the regard of honest peers and endure the betrayal of fake friends.  To appreciate the beauty surrounding you wherever you are, whenever you are.  To find the good in people and situations.  To give what you can and leave the world a little better than you found it.  To have explored ideas and passions and sung at the top of your lungs in delight.  To know that at least one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is what LIVING is all about.

The floor is yours…

What are some other chances worth taking in life?  What’s one chance you have taken that you know you will never regret?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Fovea Centralis

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